Trading Experiment Day 27: Misguided Expectations

Self-Confidence

Ok this one could be a little tough for me but I have to be honest again

I have to be honest about my old expectations of trading

When I started out, I wanted trading to make me somebody it couldn’t

MAKE ME SOMEBODY IT COULDN’T: I viewed the world from one perspective, namely I wasn’t worth anything in it and I needed an outside force; God, another person; a job, to “verify” or “confirm” my existence. What I was worth, how I viewed myself was through everyone else’s eyes. I wanted trading to confirm my existence. Sounds weird and terrible but there it is. The money I could make, the “I am doing something that I find important and if I am good at it I will be important” attitude, and the idea that people would view me differently like successful or… something. Not even sure what. Validation maybe. I think we all look for it somewhere. I think we all want to know that there is a purpose or a meaning to our time in the world… It is just a poor decision to try and find it in trading, or any other pursuit. Let me me see if I can take you into the inner conversation. Hold on tight…

I picture myself opening the charts in the morning. I check the inner voice. The conversation goes one of two ways

The market asks “what do you think your worth today?” me “I don’t know, you tell me. Give me pips and I will measure my worth” The market proceeds to spit me out with losses.

OR

The market asks “what do you think your worth today?” me “I already have my worth. You can’t ask me that question so I am just going to take my 15 pips and leave. You have nothing to say about it” And the market leaves you alone and moves on the its next unsuspecting ¬†participant to steal from

I CAN LOOK FOR MEANING FROM TRADING, WHEN ALL THE WHILE TRADING IS WAITING FOR ME TO BRING MY MEANING TO IT

Let me explain that. No matter what you are pursuing, trading, art, writing, whatever, bring your meaning to that pursuit. Know deep down inside that you can offer something to your pursuit, not that you need so much from it that it can’t give. If I approach trading every day from the perspective of “I need you to give me something. I need you to do what I say when I say and I need the outcome to be good so I can feel good about it”, then I will always be disappointed. Needing to take means I start from a place of lack, and I need to be filled.

But…

If I approach the pursuit from a place of fullness and not lacking anything, then I am free to approach the pursuit for the pursuits sake. Mastery in short. Pursue the process for the sake of the process.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying I have to be rich to approach the markets correctly. I am not saying I need to be full of money to get money. We all do this for the sake of adding money to our accounts. What I am saying is that no matter how much I think I don’t have, or how much I know I need to make, or any other need or want I may have, I need to leave it at the door step.

Approach the markets without need, and you will have no need when the day is over.

TradingLife:KnowYourWorth

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