Finally! I can put a 3 handle on this experiment. Day 30, 10 more, holy crap remember what I said about managing expectations? Well, I learned that through this experiment. I am tired and I am running out of things to say…
So I think I want to spend the fourth quarter of the experiment talking about how to move forward. I have spent a great deal of time cleaning out the old thinking. I have made concerted effort in many area’s of my life to identify and expose these areas of weakness and to change them. Selfishness, pride, greed, immaturity, and just overall amateur behavior. But I don’t think the trick is identifying them, I think the real challenge is can a person truly defeat them and never live there again? I need the inspirational fire to move forward now…
CAN I ACTUALLY WALK AWAY FROM THE OLD WAYS AND MAKE A NEW LIFE?
I don’t remember if I have used this poem already but the last line of Frost’s poem says:
“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I, I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.”
And I picture myself there sometimes, in that yellow wood, and I don’t picture myself making the decision to follow the path. Its unfortunate but true. I am always trying to do one of two things: 1. Stand at the fork in the road and jump up and down and cuss it just for being a decision and thne being really pissed that there isn’t a map with detailed explanations on where these two roads actually lead; or 2. I choose a road, and then cut back through the woods to the other path to see how things are going on over there, and then repeat that process until it the gap between the two roads is so wide, I am forced to make a decision and it’s more of a musical chairs decision, like which one did I end up on, rather than a deliberate “this is the way I am going and forget all other paths”
So in the last days of this experiment, I need to answer one last question for my self:
Which path am I going to choose? And am I going to be specific enough in that decision to make it actionable?
Did all of the things I have written about really change me so that I can face this decision with confidence? With fortitude to never look to the side to see if another path is better? Live with the tiger, be ordinary, love the imperfect. Did it all really make a difference?
I started all of this, all I could focus on was the idea that trading was my nemesis. Trading had to be conquered and defeated. When in all reality, I was never very specific about what I ACTUALLY WANTED TO COME OUT OF THIS PROCESS! What do I actually want?
So tonight I am going to sit down and spend some time being as specific as I possibly can about the outcomes that I want from trading, and other areas of life and tomorrow I am going to share what I have come up with.
Get specific, plant the seeds of what I want, and then never look to find another, better, easier path. Just walk.